Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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