Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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