I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just gargled with NyQuil
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
