So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
