they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize