Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize