she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
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