My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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