in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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