he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
