I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
