saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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