Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ttyl tear gas
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
