my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
