i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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