Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
