Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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