Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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