walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
