Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
