wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
