But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
