dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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