I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
