soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
love makes seman taste better
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
