Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
