A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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