i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm really busy with my period
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