Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
