every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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