i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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