How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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