You just made me feel so damn special
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
