i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
