i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
