Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
