I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
