My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize