idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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