I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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