Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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