..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
