the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
