Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize