I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
