If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
