We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so much tequila, so little girl.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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