I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
