oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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