I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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