Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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