I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
