Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
