omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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