You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize