HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
