Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize